Wing bowl

Seems all I write about anymore is cartoons that make me laugh and Pictures w/ satirical remarks...But not anymore. OK who am I kidding I love those things...But I did my first trial run of my wing bowl stunt. I did a run of baked beans, 3lbs in 1:06. I was quite happy with this for a few reasons. First because it was my first run and as we all know you work the kinks out. And I think I have a few ways to cut down that time by 10-15 seconds. The second reason is I really am feeling good about how I have grown as an eater over the past two years...

All of me

I have no possessions that are truly my own. I am like a stranger at a rich man's gate. What I have is borrowed, and even my knowledge is nothing but hand-me-downs, and an occasional oddity I pick up by chance. I pass it on to others like me."

This really puts things in perspective

97...Sounds like an insignificant number. But it's not, in fact it's a number that has humbled me to a point at which I can not explain to you if you've never competed against a professional in any type of contest. Sounds odd I know, but hear me out. I played football in college with a DB who was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons. Now keep in mind I was a 285 lb. offensive lineman, that ran a Sub 5 forty (4.9 but still under 5), had a 27 inch vertical, benched 400 pounds and leg pressed 1000. This guy could make me look like his bitch on any given play at practice. He hit like a 300 pound Linebacker he was literally stronger than every lineman we had and was faster than out quickest wide out. During games it was actually fun watching him play.
Now to my point...this weekend I realized my place in professional eating. During the Krystal's hamburger eating contest, I watched Joey chestnut and Kobayashi eat 187 burgers 91 and 97 respectively. They absolutely shattered the record, but what was humbling was they broke the record by more than I ate (27 burgers). I honestly can not put into words how hard it is for me to fathom how much they ate, I'm in awe at there dedication and pure ability...once again in my like it's like watching men playing against a bunch of boys...

It's official...

It official Brooke Burke and I have broken up. I know your all wondering what could drive her from a catch like me... well I'm here to set the record straight before the rumors start flying. It seems she couldn't handle the roll playing anymore. This weekend I took her out on the "Boat" and we were going to play my favorite game of King and peasant but things got ugly before it even got started...One thing lead to another and I told her if she can't be my dirty little peasant once in a while then she can hit the bricks. She was very distraught losing a man like me, but we decided to remain "friends". I think she just want to keep me around for Booty calls....I'll keep you all updated on the progress of this story

Words I hear all to often

Except my names not Clyde...and I'm not a shark :)

God Bless Sports Illustratrated

Christmas is coming - here's a gift suggestion for that special lady!

$30 Million Dollar Bikini

The most expensive piece of diamond apparel ever made is making its debut in the
2006 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Designer Susan Rosen worked with Steinmetz
Diamonds to create the ultimate bikini, a special commission in collaboration with the swimsuit editors.
The bikini is made up of over 150 carats of D Flawless diamonds, some of the rarest in the world including ....
a 51ct D Flawless Pear Shape, a 30ct D Flawless Emerald Cut, a pair of 15ct D Flawless Rounds
and a pair of 8ct D Flawless Pear Shapes.
All of the diamonds are free of inclusions, or nature's birthmarks, making the sparkle and brilliance unsurpassable.
That, coupled with perfect D colored stones, which are set in platinum, makes the bikini truly extraordinary.
The diamond bikini is body jewelry that reflects the eternal love and beauty of women.
Not a lot of materials for $30 million.

Why you Love me

For some reason and I can't figure out why, I love to fck w/ people. It's something that just absolutely makes my day. Just today I was helping out one of our training classes. Now I'm simply there for Technical support if any is needed and I usually try to stay "out of site out of mind". But the new trainer tried ruffling my feathers this morning, by saying she was completely capable of handling any issues that may come up. I told her it was a bad idea especially on the first day w/ 10 people to be trained. She was very insistent that she really didn't need IT to do her job. So I left...
20 Minutes later the first call "so and so can't log in"...Obviously she didn't need my help before so I said, it would be about a half of an hour before I could get to it as I started a new project and was @ a point I couldn't take a break. She was pissed...5 minutes later another call, The profile needed to set set up...my response still going to be a while. Another couple of minutes go by and another call something about a printer and when can I get down there...My response "the more you bug me the longer it's going to take"...Realize this whole time I'm on newegg.com looking for a new HD and memory for my laptop. Finally I mosey on down and fix everything in about 4 minutes...and give her a big old wink and remind the class that if there are any computer related needs to call IS and not training...She was PISSED.

Request or Statement

Is she asking me or making a statement, either way the answer is YES...

You've met the man

Now meet the Legend

Keep your eyes on the road

Suddenly for no good reason that comes to mind I was hit w/ the idea about switching from competitive eating to Race car driving...But I can't put my finger on it!!!

How I found Pepe's Halloween costume

I was looking for this years Halloween costume when I stumbled upon the perfect site for Pepe. Then I thought about the time she sent me to the store for A few things and one happened to be underwear (ya I'm the J.O. husband in line w/ the box of Tampons in CVS). So I'm looking at a two types of panties and decide to call and make sure I'm getting the right kind. It's bad enough I have to do this once. I'm sure a shit not returning them and going through it twice. Her is how the conversation went;
Me "Hey they have a two kind and I want to make sure I get you the right ones"
Pepe "Ok, it real easy...Look at your first choice"
Me "Ok, I am"
Pepe "Are you smiling"
Me after a good 3 second pause...."Yes"
Pepe "Good, there not it...Now put them down and get the other ones"

Looking for a new Nanny

Recently we started looking for a new Nanny and we got one a bunch of resumes. And one really stood out...But I'll be dammed if Pepe didn't tell me no and I can't figure out why. She cooks cleans seems wonderful w/ kids…

God Bless Tibet?!?!?! or Know the Tibetan Toe

This is my own version of Tibetan "Know the Toe". Ladies and Gentleman meet Metok Lhanzey, 20, who walks during the 'swimwear round' of Miss Tibet open to the public for the first time this year in Dharamsala. God bless the US and the way we liberate the world...Soon Metok and Paris will have there own show
Note the attendance of Tiger Woods over her left shoulder; guess he's already looking for a replacement...

I'll miss you

I try to keep this blog relatively light and humorous, and if you know anything about me I wear my emotions on my sleeve. So I need to get this off my chest... On Wednesday I lost my great grandmother. Luckily it wasn't after a long battle w/ anything it was simply her body was old and tired. "I think her part were worn out" as my 6 year old son said. She was a strong woman who lived through the depression and more personal loss than any one person should have to live through. Looking back I realize it made her a stronger but lonely person and sometimes bitter person. Here is a brief history of her, and trust me with 98 years of life this may rival cliff notes; Marguerite was one of two twins born on May 8th 1908, her twin sister never made it past a few weeks of life. I don't know allot of her time as a youth because she never spoke of it much. I do know she lived through the depression but always made it sound like it wasn't that hard on her. But I know it affected her more than she led on. It was her mannerisms w/ money and food. She never spent frivolous or ate to the point of excess (how she ended up w/ a competitive eater I'll never know). It was like she was always saving things for another day. She was married and gave birth to her son Artie (my grandfather). She was quickly divorced after because as she put it "he was a momma's boy, so I sent him home to his momma". Artie was raised by my great great grand mother "little grand mom" who for the record lived to 104, not sure exactly why he lived w/ her but it was a conversation I dare to broach more than once and w/kid gloves on. But in typical Marge fashion I was told it was none of my business and move on. Artie in turn married Margie (my grandmother), but as fate would have it Artie was killed in a motor cycle accident when Margie was 7 months pregnant. Margie moved to Phoenix for health reason raised my mother alone, until she died when my mom was 16. My mom found her dead in bed one day. DJ (my mother) moved back to Jersey to finish H.S. with Marguerite and little gram. But again fate and its cruel ways struck for the second time, taking my mother from us when I was 12. This seemed to hit her pretty hard, but I wasn't around to see how any of the others affected her. My brother and I were adopted by close family friends but she was always a part of my life. She moved to Louisiana with her niece and sister where they lived for 5 years. When they returned to Jersey where her sister died shortly after and my cousin didn't want to take care of her anymore. So my wife and I took her in...Where she lived w/ us for almost 3 years. She went to the "Home" after a series of falls put her in a wheel chair. I felt incredibly lucky to have her in my life so long and even more fortunate to have my children (her great great Grandchildren) spend so much time with her. Though I think it was great for them to see a perspective of life they would never get from me or Pepe, it was even better for her. It seemed to give her a sense of purpose, almost something new to live for. And that purpose got her into 98 year of life.

So now I have to say goodbye to a woman who played many important roles in my life. Like mother figure when mine couldn't be around, a friend when I just needed to someone to talk to, family historian and the voice of reason when I was being a knucklehead. Some how her patented "YOU BIG DUMB OX" reeled me back in or just made me laugh and made me think...

Gram I love you and you will be missed...

If loving you is wrong I don't want to be right

So I'm back...in more ways than one. I'm going through a rough patch @ home but things will work out eventually one way or another.

On to bigger and better...After crashing my RC plane...Breaking my Telescope, finishing my Triathlon and not killing everything in my Saltwater fish tank...To name a of the things that have peaked my interest. I think I have found something that may keep me going for quite a while....

Be honest how insane is this guy...Yet I love him and it gets my gears turning

The Krystals Train is finally running

The Krystal's train just ran...Ran through me like grease through a goose.

Funny article...Seems Drexel Hill didn't represent like it should have
http://www.krystalsquareoff.com/headlines.php?s=38

I'm out of hiding

I went underground the last week to keep my training under wraps. For 2 reasons I thought I might be able to surprise somebody and pull off mid 30's. The only person I surprised was myself by stinking up the place...27. I was and am quite disappointed in myself. I believe deep down that I can be good @ eating...maybe not top 10 but definitely top 20.

So now what??? 3 things one get ready for Wing Bowl in Philly, 2 Meatballs in AC...And three Lose 30 pounds before the AC trip...I think this is what is holding me back...

I am having my own burger eating contest next

Recently Pep's dad (my father-in-law) was in town...To know Paps is to love him, but he's freaking insane. Apparently when I was not around he asked Pep, if she would like to buy a cow that one of his friends daughters raised. She placated him for a while asking how much and things of that nature assuming he was just blowing smoke. Guess what he wasn't...
He calls the house and here is how the conversation goes

Paps: "guess what? I bought the cow"
Me: "you bought a what?!?!?"
Paps: "I bought the cow"
Me: "what the F%&K would you buy a cow for"
Paps: "So we can eat it, Listen I paid a little more than what I expected so you guys owe me about $600.00. For the cow and to get it butchered"
Me: Silence....
Paps: "you there..."
Me: "yep....But I'm confused who the hell did I get involved in this"
Paps : "my daughter wanted in on it, Put her on the phone...Hey while I have you on the phone can your freezer hold about 300 pounds of meat"
Me: Silence...

Yep you guessed it, you are looking at the proud owner of a GD Cow

Suddenly there was light...

With 11 days left to train for Krystal's I was getting a little worried that this might not be "my food". My times were dropping instead of increasing; I wasn't feeling the groove we all know we get into. I kept thinking this is Nathan's all over again...

Last night I switched it up techniques one more time, and why not. Nothing was really working like I knew it should. Not that 20 in 3:30 is pathetic but it wasn't numbers I knew I was capable of. So I decided I would "borrow" a few things I've heard or witness from some really great eaters. I took something HB said in passing about using two hands, borrowed Steakbellie's shovel technique, and Pat B's music while I eat....I'll be damn it if it didn't finally pay off. Small run of 20 again...This time was 2:16.

I couldn't have been happier...Is it on par w/ the some of the greats; Bob, Joey, Sonya, Tim, Conti and Kobayashi...No, not even close. But it was a big step for me and I feel like I'm seriously back in the game...

Saturday is a run of 30 check back on Monday

The closer I get, the Slower I go...

Seems the more I eat the slower I get...I did my second run on Tuesday and just shit the bed. 20 white Castles in 3:30 almost 20 seconds longer than the other day. I'm just not getting them wet enough, so I am going w/ a change. I am going w/ the two handed approach I figure if I soak the bun for an extra second or two before hand I won't get that back up in my throat and they should slide easier. I'm going for another run tonight w/ Steakbellie, it's another 20 burgers but I am shooting for under 3:00...I Should get it if I get the rhythm of it early...

Today’s stomach stretching was good. I feel like the capacity is there. I started w/ 1 quart of water in 30 seconds. I slammed down 2 ham and cheese rollups w/ a banana and 2 pounds of oatmeal. It took just over two minutes. Then I attempted the second two quarts of water. One full quart and about a third of the second I was spent...Great stretch.

There are ten day to go...And I'm changing my eating style. I feel like I'm changing quarterbacks before the super...I hope it doesn't screw me up.