Once in a while I would like to sleep in

Monday through Friday I can't get there little asses up...But Saturday and Sunday I'm luck if it's 6:30 or 7:00....





THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
NEVER MARRY A MORNING PERSON...YOU'LL ONLY SPAWN MORNING CHILDREN

A good day

It was a good day...A very good day

Name That Movie

Mother is the name of God on the hearts and lips of children...

Talk about Irony

Holy Shit you want to talk about irony...I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy just ain't gonna make it!!!!

I f'ing love this joke

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,

A carton of eggs,

A quart of orange juice,

A head of romaine lettuce,

A 2 lb. can of coffee,

And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly Stated,

"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued By the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly".

Virginia Tech

I just read about the Virginia Tech shooting. It appears that classes were canceled via E-mail. Part of me is shocked that that was all they did, but then I realized that there isn't a better way to announce this on a spread out campus...

Another fork in the road (Part 2)

I lie awake with a deep restlessness, I was anxiously awaiting his return...I knew he wanted his answer and I wanted this over with, once and for all. I had wasted so many waking hours second guessing myself and trying to decide on what path I would find my destiny. As sleep was desperately beckoning me, I slowly succumbed to it.

With the subtly of a freight train I was jarred from my rest by his untimely arrived. In that cynical tone he began his prodding...“What are you doing, going to sleep?"..."Taking the easy way again I see, that’s just like you.” My mind was filled with delirium from my lack of sleep, so I simply stated “I have your answer, or is it my answer? Either way I have it.” Excitedly he replied “It OUR answer and OUR problem, so leave your little identity crisis for another day…What have you chosen? I can’t wait to move on…” Defiantly the answer left my lips, and stung with the poison I wanted it to, “I have decided to stay exactly where I am, on the the very path I chose for myself along time ago.” Viciously and with the feel of disdain, he screamed at me so loud I thought he might wake Pep or the kids. “NO, YOU HAVE NOT FOOL! YOU HAVE SAT IDEALLY WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE THE DECISION FOR YOU!!!" I replied sternly "Lower your voice, no one can hear you but me and I will not tolerate rudeness from anyone" then in almost a whisper "I have chosen to remain on the path, that was made by me, and me alone." I know he is disappointed as he grows quite, his words taking on the tone of a broken man..."how could you do this to me...I have waited far to long for you to just sit here forever." I begin to approach him as if he is an angry child, and I realize he is.

"We have sat no where for all these years. What I have done is cut my own path between the two roads society set before us. We have never truly fit on either, We live for the moment and enjoy it to it's fullest potential, and that is when I walk parallel to that path. But anyone who doesn't remember his past as opposed to dwelling in it, is destined to repeat it...Now leave me alone, I need some sleep I've got to train for South Carolina...and the fish tank leaks

Another fork in the road (Part 1)

As some would say, I leisurely stroll along the path of life, yet I am continually presented w/ choices, forks in the road if you will. Not unlike yourselves, but while lying in bed last night I hear a voice that startled me. A voice I had not heard from in a long time a voice I knew all to well, and it asked me a simple question;

“We have been at this fork for far too long. What will you choose, a life of happiness or a life of meaning???” sluggishly I respond “WHAT, who is that???”
“You know who it is dumb ass, just answer the question, happiness or meaning?” And in my heart I know who it is but I don’t want to do this now. So with heavy eyes and a cloudy mind I respond meekly “Not this, not now, Pleeeaaase. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep” Then voice growls at me with a growing sense of impatient “Stop whining, we are at an impasse and need to move forward or we will wither and die here” “Why?!?!?!?! I’m in a comfortable place, and I like it.” But even more annoyed the voice rings back “That’s the problem, your comfortable and content with mediocrity and being miserable, NOW WHICH WILL IT BE??” So with the taste of defiance on my tongue I spout back “Fine I choose both.” quickly and with out a moments hesitation “You can’t…”

I am quite taken by this, and now I must ask the simple but poignant question “Why?!?!?!” The silence is deafening and seems to take forever but I know this answer is going to break me. So I humbly say "I want to have both…I need to have both, why cant I have it my way?" Then with a hint of sarcasm as he begins the diatribe “It can’t be done…it is two very different paths. To be absolutely happy you must live absolutely in the present. No thought of what has gone before and no thought of what lies ahead! But a life with meaning, a man is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess with the future…Now you must choose or we will be stuck in this limbo forever”.

I lay there and think for what seems an eternity, left with only my thoughts and a sense of self imposed need to decide. Finally I call out, nervous and unsure of the answer I will get. Like a child asking permission for the first time to go to an all night party “I need time to ponder upon this”. Dissatisfied and disgusted he tells me “You have had a life time to think about this…just make a decision and live with the consequences”...“I know but I need more time, there is more at stake now than just me, what about my wife my children it impacts the people who I love most"

Slowly I hear the sound of his impatient breathing subside and my own terrified heartbeat begin to slow. I know he is gone for now, displeased with my inability to decide the path I should choose and disheartened the years it has taken me to make it...Slowly my eyes grow heavy and the sleep takes me, I am lucky that I am incapable of dreams so this daunting question can not invade my slumber. But it will occupy my every waking moment until I can decide…

The Proper way to pronounce Oklahoma

The Proper way to pronounce Oklahoma is

Okla ... Homa

There is a pause between the A and H

Name that movie

1. Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.
2. Okay, dad, I think we get it.
1. Are you getting it? Is it going in anywhere? No, don't show me the pad. I don't wanna see the fucking pad.

Eye Candy

Just to keep you all coming back...A little eye candy for the men and the Ladies, and she's not bad either

Babel Review

My brief Synopsis: While on a trip to the Moroccan dessert, two American tourist find themselves in a struggle to survive and accidental shooting that sets in motion a change of events that link two Moroccan boys involved in an accidental crime, a nanny illegally crossing into Mexico with two American children and a Japanese teen rebel whose father is sought by the police in Tokyo.

My Review: First and foremost who the fuck vacations in the Moroccan dessert. I don't care what has transpired in your life that you might so desperately need to get away from, stay away from third world countries, plain and simple. Now that I got that out, Babel has great expectations for itself: Inarritu invites us to get past the babble of modern civilization and start listening to each other, which seems like such a novel concept we all should practice but usually don't. It wants to be a movie about big ideas and big emotions at the same time, it is aided by gorgeous locations and stunning cinematography, and it succeeds for the most part. The most impressive performances were not by Brad Pitt or Cate Blanchett but by Adriana Barraza (Amelia) and Rinko Kikuchi (Chieko)...Kikuchi performance is stunning, without speaking a single work she puts on one of the best performances of the film. Is this a must see, unfortunatly for all the hype and Oscar talk...Not really.

Kong gives Babel 2.5 wing out of 5

Wingette of the day...

Wing Kong Reviews....Little Miss Sunshine

Here is the preface, trust me it won't ruin anything for you:

The doofus dad wants to be Tony Robbins. The long-suffering mom wishes he'd put away his pipe dreams and be there for the family. The sullen son has taken a vow of silence. The ungainly daughter wants to be a beauty queen. The grandfather snorts heroin. Mom's brother — the gay American Proust scholar — just tried to kill himself. Put these people together in VW Microbus, and you'd think you'd have a recipe for disaster —

My Review

This is was one of the best movies I've watched in quite some time. Not often do a group of charters come together to make a whole that just rings true every step of the way. Don't be mislead by the title this is a film loaded w/ dark humor, along the lines of "The Ice Harvest". It is a wonderful mix of obscure circumstances that bring this dysfunctional family together. It is overflowing w/ such a sick sense of humor that doesn't force the moral of the story on you, it weaves it together to make it's point. For me it proved that family is a heck of a lot like the film's VW bus: It may be clunky, it may not always run right, but everyone will be OK so long as we all get together and push.

Kong gives it 4.5 wings out of 5....a must see

Literally or Figuratively

So I was driving into work this morning, and this dick in a truck pulls out in front of me........

The biggest mistake anyone can make

I have found the biggest mistake most people can make is:

"Never Mistake Kindness for Weakness"

How Did I Get Here

How Did I Get Here??? The Talking Heads posed this exact question and I love this question. We all ask this exact question of ourselves at different points in our lives...

When we were children it was when we were lost, either in the woods or the shopping center it just depends on where you grew up. Suddenly nothing was familiar around you and panic set in...No familiar landmarks, no familiar faces. Then it hit like you like a ton of bricks, where is my mom!?!?! Later in life we developed the survival skills to make it out of the wood or the social skills to ask for help and not to panic.

When we were in Collage or there about that age, for some earlier in life for some later. The question then arose when you were so drunk you had no idea when or where you were. This was usually followed by lots of puking and even a trip to the ER if you were lucky. The worst case of how did I get here during this time in life is waking up in a strange bed w/ no clue how we got there or where we are and who we are with...But for most of us we grow out of this and realize to drink to a point where we'll at least remember most of the things we did.

Last night I hit this point when I ask myself how did I get here...Wife, Kids, Cats, Dogs, Job, Mortgage, Car Payments, Laundry, dishes...You name it, most of us have it in varying degrees. So I literally laid in bed for about an hour thinking that exact question, "How did I get here?" I'll tell you how, I fought and clawed for everything, fell on my face but got back up, Sometimes I succeeded but usually I failed the first, second and even the third time. I've had more taken away from me than handed to me. I've lost more loved ones than I've gained. In the end would I trade one of these instances for an easier path to get here??? No not one, they make me who I am, these are the pressures of life that forged upon me to make me the diamond (so to speak) that I am....

All of our stories are different of how we got here, but if you step back and look we are all a lot better off for choosing or being thrust upon the path we walk...take a minute to see what you have not what you don't and think of the scarifies it took to get them, them seem so much more precious

A typical trip to Best Buy...

A friend we will call her T-Bone, texted me w/ a question, "What do I need to go wireless in my house"??? We text back and forth and decide I will go w/ her to Best Buy. We get there and the questions begin. What do i need, will this work w/ what I have, do I need to buy anything extra??? All good questions...But then like the A-Bomb comes the big one
"How do you know this, should we ask someone?!?!?!?".
"I do this for a living, remember you called me and asked me how to set it up" I reply calmly.
"But how do you know it will work??"
"Because I'm a professional and have been doing IT for almost eight years now."
"What if it doesn't work????"
"Look would you second guess your doctor or mechanic???" A long period of Silence...
"Now shut up and go pay for this, and buy me a soda..."

Let it snow...

Snow days don't seem to hold the same value they used to...Why you ask. Its simple there are no snow days for adults...Unless your a teacher or work for a company that doesn't work 24x7. It used to be when those snow flakes fell there was that feeling of I get a day to sled or throw snowballs or do what ever I wanted...Now it's who is going to cover the kids snow day or who's going to cover the 2 hour delay...I really think we all need to step back and enjoy the day for what it.really is..a free day to have fun and be a kid with your Kids again. Who cares if you have work it'll still be there when you get back. I say snow days are national holidays...A everybody leave me the hell alone I'm going sledding w/ Peaches and Snowboarding w/ Peanut day...And I'm staying until they are tired and there little fingers and toes are to cold to do it anymore...Then I'm making some hot Chocolate and Warming up so we can do it again....If you need me leave a message or send me an email. I'm sure I'll be in touch in a day or so...

Night at the Museum...Gets 3.5 out of 5 Wings

I have to say I was reluctant to see this movie, not because it's more or less a children's movie, I love most kids movies. it was because of the cast involved, I somewhat like Ben Stiller but he gets repetitive like Jim Carey has. Owen Wilson is above average, but I will say this, if you get the chance to see only one of his movies this year hands down it has to be "Bottle Rocket". I was hoping Robin Williams would be it's saving grace. But Back to the "Night at the Museum" I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I took the whole family including my 3 year old and Steakbellies youngest son. We all had a great time. It was funny on an adult level and the children's which I always think makes a great family movie. The little jabs that fly right over the kids heads but allow me to giggle to myself. On my new grading system of 1-5 wings this gets a 4...If you have kids and want a good laugh I suggest you check it out.