It's like finding a $20 bill in your coat pocket

About a year ago I made a myspace account and never used it I went on there to check out some chick (suprise)...I went back out of sheer curiosity after reading playboy (yes I also read the articles) and low and behold I had a message...I was sure it had to be some crap spam email...But to my supprise it was an old college roommate who emailed me...it was great to hear from her. She is a great friend I shared a lot w/ and we drifted apart...Welcome back old Friend I hope we don't drift this time

Honey Do List

"OK have a nice Vacation, see you next Week" (Hope you drown)
"Ok Thanks, oh by the way I sent you a "things to work on List"
(WHAT THE F#@K!!!!!, Holy sh!t what am I 15 and getting a choir list) "Great I'll check it out"
"I'd like you to have it finished up by next week"
under my breath as he walks away"and I'd like to get laid 3-4 times a week"
"I'm sorry did you say something"
(your GD right I did) Nope just thanking you for the Honey Do List...See you next week (Dickhead)

You talk'in to me Btch

RRRRRRRRRRRR

Mannequin Smile

"Help desk how can I help you" (Help Desk how did i get here, I'm not some help desk Jockey. Oh that's right I work w/ a lazy piece of Sht that won't do his job)
"My Keyboard won't work"
(Who the fck cares) "Have you tried rebooting"
"reboot??? I logged off???"
(Here we go...The winner of gold in the 2000 Idiot Olympics) "Just click on Start and choose shut down and then Choose Restart...."
10 seconds elapse...."Ok I'm done"
(Ok here we go off to the equivalent of an intelligence black whole) "You couldn’t have done it that quick"
"I did, I logged off just like you said"
"I'll be right over to give you a hand" (You shouldn't be allowed to waste oxygen)

It's like Missing Christmas

I had no idea...
Then I stumbled upon it...
It’s like opening the paper and finding out you slept through the Cubs winning a world series....
I MISSED TOAD THE WET SPROCKET...SH!T
I love those guys I know there old school...I digress

Just Say Congratulation, shut the F'ck up and move on...

Why can't anyone just say congratulations and move on...

Why is it you try to share a special moment w/ people that you think are your friends and you get replies like "I could do that" or "why would you want to do that???"
To those of you who swear they can could eat 4.7 pounds of Shoo Fly Pie in 84 minutes, or 67 Wings in 14 minutes or 15 Hot Dogs in 12 minutes...Please SHUT UP put your money where your mouth is and come w/ me to an event...Pick one I'll eat anything. Don't tell me it easy, don't ask me how F'ing hard can it be, and please don't tell me for the 20th time if you let your insulin drop you could eat pounds and pounds of anything...Trust me you will puke before I'm even full
To the rest of you who can not offer a simple congratulations for the completion of the Triathlon, please know a few things yes you might be able to do the run and may you could do the ride, and I'm sure the swim would be easy for you...The problem is you won't do it you will sit on your ass, and make stupid f'ing comments about how you can do anything I can do, but won't put your ass out there, I might have failed, but I didn't... and even if I had, at least I tried.
In hind sight there are very very few people who could have done both the pie and the Tri in less than 24 hours. One of the few that could is Steakbellie, and his reply to my acheivment, "congrats I'm proud". Eric thank you, you are a true friend
To the rest of you, join me in one or the other or both, if you think you can...But if your not going to atleast try SHUT THE FK UP

24 hour rock star

Saturday at 12:00 through Sunday @ 8:30 am was one of the best 24 hour of my life.

Saturday at noon I (Wing Kong) had the privileged of competing against some of the best eaters in the world @ the Rock Valle Shoo Fly Pie eating contest. What a great time...And a great bunch of guys. It was good to see Humble Bob again he's such a great guy and yes he won it w/ 9+ pounds. I did 4.8 pounds which I thought was respectable...I finally got the chance to talk to talked to Crazy Legs and Tim (Eater X), really cool guys; I had met them @ wing bowl 2005 but didn't get much of a chance to talk to them.

The second part of my world wind weekend was a 6:45 am start in Long Branch NJ for the Long Branch triathlon series. Holy Shit was I a nervous wreck; this was my first Tri so I was a little overwhelmed. It started w/ a 400 yard Swim, the water was 60 GD degrees. Obviously I didn't die from Hyperthermia or drown but there were a few times I thought I was going to...Next was the Ride it went really well, it was rainy the whole race so there were a few crashes. Finally the run, the run part of a Triathlon is not a big mans friend and @ 265 pounds not only is it not my friend it might just be considered a down right enemy. But I did it 3.1 miles...After I was physically spent but I felt really good, I knew I had done something most people thought I couldn't do and deep down I knew I could. So to all of them I want to thank each and every one of you for the extra motivation. For those of you who gave me support and advice, thank you, I'm sure most of you still doubted my fat ass could do it but you still supported and believed in me and I can never thank you enough for that....

Nothing Sexier

Nothing sexier than me in my wetsuit (there is allot of sarcasm in that one)...Sunday is the Longbranch Triathlon and I'm scared shitless, I know I can do it. This is my first and I truely hope not my last.....I'll let you know on Monday

Even Neil got it wrong the first time...

That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind....
Or was it supposed to be
That's one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind