I am having my own burger eating contest next

Recently Pep's dad (my father-in-law) was in town...To know Paps is to love him, but he's freaking insane. Apparently when I was not around he asked Pep, if she would like to buy a cow that one of his friends daughters raised. She placated him for a while asking how much and things of that nature assuming he was just blowing smoke. Guess what he wasn't...
He calls the house and here is how the conversation goes

Paps: "guess what? I bought the cow"
Me: "you bought a what?!?!?"
Paps: "I bought the cow"
Me: "what the F%&K would you buy a cow for"
Paps: "So we can eat it, Listen I paid a little more than what I expected so you guys owe me about $600.00. For the cow and to get it butchered"
Me: Silence....
Paps: "you there..."
Me: "yep....But I'm confused who the hell did I get involved in this"
Paps : "my daughter wanted in on it, Put her on the phone...Hey while I have you on the phone can your freezer hold about 300 pounds of meat"
Me: Silence...

Yep you guessed it, you are looking at the proud owner of a GD Cow

Suddenly there was light...

With 11 days left to train for Krystal's I was getting a little worried that this might not be "my food". My times were dropping instead of increasing; I wasn't feeling the groove we all know we get into. I kept thinking this is Nathan's all over again...

Last night I switched it up techniques one more time, and why not. Nothing was really working like I knew it should. Not that 20 in 3:30 is pathetic but it wasn't numbers I knew I was capable of. So I decided I would "borrow" a few things I've heard or witness from some really great eaters. I took something HB said in passing about using two hands, borrowed Steakbellie's shovel technique, and Pat B's music while I eat....I'll be damn it if it didn't finally pay off. Small run of 20 again...This time was 2:16.

I couldn't have been happier...Is it on par w/ the some of the greats; Bob, Joey, Sonya, Tim, Conti and Kobayashi...No, not even close. But it was a big step for me and I feel like I'm seriously back in the game...

Saturday is a run of 30 check back on Monday

The closer I get, the Slower I go...

Seems the more I eat the slower I get...I did my second run on Tuesday and just shit the bed. 20 white Castles in 3:30 almost 20 seconds longer than the other day. I'm just not getting them wet enough, so I am going w/ a change. I am going w/ the two handed approach I figure if I soak the bun for an extra second or two before hand I won't get that back up in my throat and they should slide easier. I'm going for another run tonight w/ Steakbellie, it's another 20 burgers but I am shooting for under 3:00...I Should get it if I get the rhythm of it early...

Today’s stomach stretching was good. I feel like the capacity is there. I started w/ 1 quart of water in 30 seconds. I slammed down 2 ham and cheese rollups w/ a banana and 2 pounds of oatmeal. It took just over two minutes. Then I attempted the second two quarts of water. One full quart and about a third of the second I was spent...Great stretch.

There are ten day to go...And I'm changing my eating style. I feel like I'm changing quarterbacks before the super...I hope it doesn't screw me up.

How many people can say...

How many people can say they have eaten an entire grocery store out of an entire food? Not many, you may get the last bag of chips or the frig pack of Pepsi when it's on sale...But you most certainly never walked in and bought 20 boxes of hamburgers/chesseburgers. And ate them all in a week. Watch out on the 10/1 it's on and a few people are going to be supprised...

13 days and counting

Saturday was interesting and disappointing...I did a timed run. 5 boxes (30 total burgers), I figured if I could get 20 in the first 3 minutes I was well on my way to my goal number of 40. I was nervous for some reason and I'm usually not for a simple training run. I think now that I've decided to take competitive eating to a new level. From simply a hobby to a real goal oriented task of cracking the IFOCE top ten, currently I'm 43rd.

Things started out great I felt comfortable and was moving @ a good pace...The first 17 went down like butter. My rhythm felt good. I was getting just enough water that it was 2 bites per burger and both went relatively clean. The occasional extra chew or two but nothing to raise concern. 18 hit and I didn't dunk it long enough and it was dry. It got stuck in my esophagus, not enough to block my air way but enough that I needed to chug some water. I figured I needed to treat this as game day situation, so I had to find a way to fight through it...19 went down but I could feel it stacking up. 20 went down in 3:11 and made it way right back out at 3:12...I frigin puked...Not allot and I probably could have swallowed it down and went further...But swallowing my own puke if for game day only...The good part was a I wasn't full. Not even close. I actually chugged about a half gallon of water after...To make up for the ten I didn't finish.

It was annoying and somewhat of a setback, but a good learning experience

Words of wisdom from a 6 year old

Last night I said to my son "Time flies like an arrow" he immediately replied w/ out an ounce of hesitation or thought “fruit flies like a banana"...I Pissed my pants for 5 minutes and he had no clue why until I explained it...

God I love the subtle combination of youth and innocence…

Competitive Eating in My World

In my world, the sick little one it is, I wish competitive eating was like the WWE. Now before you get some crazy idea in your head of chairs across the back and flips off the ropes. I simply mean good guys/bad guys and a some trash talk w/ a medium for people to check in on it...Follow there favorite eater (me of coarse)

Yesterday I was doing a little trash talking w/ Steakbellie and it was harmless and I actually enjoyed it...But I got to thinking, I would be such an awesome bad guy. I would rattle and rile up the other eaters through a web page, youtube or even TV spots and interviews promoting the next competition/event...

My new name as a bad guy is Carnage...And I think I will have dual personalities just to keep people on there toes...

17 days until Krystals

Today's training went well, 4 good sized chicken breasts, Can of Chili, and 2 baked potatoes. And a half gallon of water...about 6 minutes. I'm not as uncomfortable as I was last week after the water so I think the stretching is working.

I am modifying my training regiment a bit...I was conversing w/ another eater quite an impressive one I might add, but will remain nameless as I don't know if he would want to be named, He gave me a few ideas...We shall see...

Where are they now???

Anyone know where Matt Leblanc (Joey) got his start...Accuradio of coarse!!!!

From the mouths of Pups

I finally have a way to reason w/ people about my cigars...

First Mini Run (18 days Til D-Day)

Last night I bought some burgers just to see how they went down...and what technique I was going to use. So I took the advise of another eater and warmed them up how he said but because they were frozen I left them in a little long than I think I should have...The tops had a hard crust on top and the inside was really cold.

I decided I was going to time this just for S&Gs. Mainly to see just how much water they sucked up, how many bites it would take and they went down. I started the clock and dove right in, to my surprise even w/ the hard top it was two bites and maybe one chew on the second bite before the swallow...I was happy. I dug right into the second and the third w/ delight, as these were so much easier than those damn Nathans Hot Dogs. For the 4th, 5th and 6th I tried to get a rhythm going using both hands to dunk then shovel...It was quite awkward. I am going to work on that tonight...Over all it took 51 seconds, I'm not sure quite how that will work out for me in an 8 minute contest but I think it was a solid start...Tonight is round 2 30as quick as I can w/ me noting what number I'm at in the 3 minute range....I'm hoping for 20 but we will see tomorrow

3 things....(19 days til Krystals)

1: I know the chemical brothers are all techno and what not, but damn it the bass in those damn songs Frigin rock...
2: I don't care who wrote all the songs for Courtney Love she, she tears it up and I would love her to take some of that anger out on me while she rides me...
3: Training Kicked my ass today.....I took what I call the Takeru Kobayashi approach. I call it this because I saw a special on him and who better to model your training after than the best. Obviously I modified it a little. I did 5 pounds of Rice today...and used a half gallon of water to wash it down @ the same time and chugged the rest to finish it off. 6 minutes...For the love of God it hurt...But I know this is going to pay off in the end...

23 days until Krystals

Today’s training was tuff...I had a small reversal of Fortune @ work, more on that later

I started w/ a quart of water again, it took me about thirty six seconds, I'm still in awe @ Joey Chestnut doing the gallon of milk for wing bowl in 47 seconds but digress. I immediately dove into 5 McDonald's cheese burgers quartered. My theory was that I was trying to make them somewhat like the Krystals burgers, but it didn't work. That took me 2 minute 37 Seconds. I felt good as I jumped right into the second Quart of water, as I was drinking it I walked to the water cooler to refill the first one I emptied. When I finished the second quart I had only filled up the third quart container. So I began to chug.... I was dieing trying to swallow the last little bit of water when I realized it, “I'm going to lose this, and I’m going to lose this NOW”. I told myself I need to hold this down and get a good stretch in. Burp after burp and gag, I held fast for almost ten minutes, suddenly I looked over at my poor lonely and empty trash can and lost it right in my office…

Tomorrow will be better

And you know it's gotta be true

The Beginning of Krystal's Journey

Today was my first real day of trying to stretching stomach. I started off w/ quart of water, followed by two Baked Potatoes and a dollar menu Chili from Wendy's. Then another quart of water....Wow talk about uncomfortable, but definitely bearable and seems to be a great starting point for me...

I know not to many people read this but for the few that do. I am training for Krystal’s (October 1st) and am trying to find some people, preferably eaters who can help me w/ a few techniques on Stomach stretching. Specifically how often is recommended and what should I use (e.g. Work up to a gallon a water a day or jello x times a week)....I will also be documenting the training for the next 24 days right here....

Nothing Better than Florida in August

Something’s are suicide...Playing w/ Stingrays is one for obvious reasons (RIP Steve). But Florida in August during Hurricane season is definitely there...Ernesto thanks for ruining Latka’s vacation and not mine...