Friday, August 25, 2006

To pole or not to pole...That is the Question

What 3 year old gets a manicure Pedicure????

Tea for Two

Peaches has a tea party today...Seems half of Drexel Hill has a tea party...
Seems peaches needed a manicure pedicure before hand...Must be one hell of a tea party. Sounds like a frigin prom if you ask me.....

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Planes Traines and Automobiles















Seem I have an expensive mistress...Damn Peep's gonna be pissed about this one...First Astronomy, then Fishing, after that Fly Fishing and fly tying, Followed closely by the salt water tank, Not to be out done my Car, and last, but you can bet your sweet ass not even close to least (or last for that matter)....RC airplanes.

Updates to follow on this one

They stole my childhood

Today we lost a friend...On the same day I lost my new helpdesk smuck. I'm one of the easiest mother F'er to work for if you can have a bit of thick skin for my ball busting...But that's neither here nor there...

Seems Pluto got demoted...Please tell me how?!?!??! I know it's small, Hell I know it's not necessarily round and has a Partner (sounds like Smokey Joe). But for the love Pete...That is one of the biggest demotions in history...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060824/sc_space/breakingnewsplutodemotednolongeraplanet

I need these guys to train me for Wing Bowl

I love this video...It's long but so worth it...

I think my next 15 minutes of fame will be compliments of youtube...and a jump out of my first floor window onto my kids Trampoline, or a leap off of Steakbellie's garage through a table...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

3 hookers and some roll playing

We are leaving for Disney in a few days and I'm really excited. We have this little ditty set up where SC and I swim w/ Dolphins and he gets to get them to do tricks for him...It should be a great time. Then it's off to dinner w/ the Processes, if you would have told me 5 years ago I would be having dinner w/ a bunch of hotties dressed as Cinderella and Snow white and some other dingy broad. I can guarantee you I would have said hell no...Unless it was w/ three hookers I paid extra to roll play...But that's another story...

Monday, August 21, 2006

In the end...

In the end We all die alone...I don't care how many friends and family you have at your bedside in the cold dark moment, You will die just as alone as the news paper lined homeless man who takes his last breath in a cardboard box...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

It has begun...

Today is the day...You might ask yourself what day besides Tuesday...Today is the day I start trying to lose weight, Train for the Triathlon and get my big ass ready for Krystals...I feel I'm @ a point in my eating where I need to increase on my speed and capacity especially.

Today I had Oatmeal for Breakfast and almost a half gallon to go...Jesus that hurt and I feel like shit....Anybody out there know how many days a week I can safely train w/ water???

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

FROM 9 to 12!!!!!!

For sometime I've been worried that we might be losing one of our most elusive and mysterious planets in our lonely little solar system (sarcasm implied). Pluto, they thought she was too small and not round enough...But through the infinate wisdom of the "The International Astronomical Union's Planet Definition Committee" I have nothing to fret about anymore...Here is the rule explaining what qualifies a planet....

"A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet." [full text]

In plain language, if it's round and it orbits the Sun, then it's a planet.

Here is you new list of planets good luck as it will grow exponetially
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Charon (a double planet) and 2003 UB313.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Sssoooo True

Do I really need to say more?!?!?! I think not

The Zenith of Contest

I have decided to hold the mother of all contests....
The winner of this contest will get to spend 24 scintillating hours w/ the most aesthetically pleasing eater in the world WING KONG....
Contest Rules to follow

Monday, August 14, 2006

The good the Bad and the Ugly

There are times in life when you show up and don't have your "A" game...And that happens
Then there are days when you show up and have your "A" game but are out classes by the competitors and that happens too...
But there are those days few and far between, for me atleast, where I have my "A" game and some nebies show up and hand me my ass...And this weekend I learned the definition of humility...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Through her eyes

I can honestly tell you that sometimes I lead a Movie star life...I have an amazing wife who supports me through some crazy shit...Triathlons, eating contests, Toys (my car). I have two beautiful children that I couldn't love or be more proud of. But every once in a while I realize something is missing, I know it sounds selfish but hear me out. I lost my mother when I was 11, and don't get me wrong when I was young and even into my mid 20's I missed her like nothing I'd ever lost in my life.
But as I got older and things filled the void, I didn't miss her as often, when I did think of her it was with the same yearning. But things like Pep were filling the blackness I had filled up w/over time. When I got married it absolutely crushed me that she could not be there...But it quickly passed w/ the craziness of the day and honeymoon after.
Ironically now my life is crazier than ever with the two little ones...But I find I think of you more often again. At first it was a million questions, was I short or tall, fat or skinny, funny and out going or quiet. God there were and are some many questions that can never be answered...So many pieces missing that I make up to have something to tell Sam...Will I get them right when I have to retell them to bits...I hope so
When I miss you most is when they do the most amazing things, sure there dumb things that all kids do, but there my kids and your grandchildren and you earned the right to see them do them all. If for no other than you made me the man I am today. I wanted you to see them swim in the pool, to Ride a bike, and hear them make up crazy stories of feeding chickens in the baseball field...Maybe more than anything I wanted you to see me fall in love, have my heart broken, pick me up and wipe away the tears, walk down the isle, and bring life in this world...I miss you and I hope "they" are right and you get to look down every once in while and see what a great job you did in the short time you had...

I miss you allot...
I love you more...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Little fish....

I'm sitting in my car with an hour to kill before my interview, parked on the corner of 12th and Locust trying to stay cool and conspicuous. It's a 102 degree outside and the sun is beating down on my car making it an oven.
I look over at you and I know I'm more comfortable in my suit and black car in this ungodly heat than you are in your own skin and poorly cut daisy dukes. I can’t help but notice all the queens staring and mocking you with their girlie girl giggles and whispers just out of ear shot. You know their talking about you, don’t you, but can’t even hear what they are saying. I can see the sting of their unheard insults in your eyes, and it actually saddens me.
You are shunned by your own peers and I wonder why? What makes you so different from the rest of them??? What is so different that they would make one of there own feel like this? Is it the glaringly obvious choice, that you are the only white person in the area (sorry I can't use man to describe you but I don't think you would want me to)??? Is it your outfit??? I think not, it's no better than the other Queens gathering around. I try to look at other things going on around me but I can't stop watching you, I actually feel bad for you. The desperate look in your eyes, the yearning for just one of them to show a bit of acceptance. We both know this feeling of camaraderie will never come, and it stings you like salt in a wound. I can't help but watch with pity and wonder, why would you want to be accepted here?? They don't want you, you are the wounded gazelle in the heard, shunned and left for predators. There has to be others like you in this big city. I see a look of pathetic hope, almost relief in your face and I can't understand why?!?!? Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I see the head queen coming to join "her" court. She has a gimp tranny on her arm; it’s the perfect picture of a prisoner w/ his weak bitch in tow…The pack moves to her to pay homage, but you don’t move. Both your eyes meet, has he seen you before, or will I get the rare chance to see this bizarre acceptance ritual?? He walks your way, gimp hobbling as fast as he can to keep up. He’s close now, will you gain acceptance, and sadly I hope so, even though I know you will be miserable….
He keeps walking…you look broken…I see you walk away head down, dejected. I hope I will see you again someday w/ people who will accept you….
I wait another 10 minutes before I go into my interview…I nailed the interview. Maybe I owe you a little thanks for taking my mind off of the interview and not over thinking it. If I get the job I’ll thank you, you’ll never know why but then again you won’t need to, I’m sure it’s been a long time since you’ve been thanked for anything